Woefully few people know how to actually achieve their goals. That’s a feature of the system we live in, not a bug, by the way.
How so, you ask?
Well, if you are endlessly striving, and feel like you are doing the most to get your goals accomplished, and you feel ashamed because you aren’t achieving those goals, you are easier to control.
Not necessarily nefariously controlled. But, controlled all the same.
By whom?
So glad you asked. Any company that is marketing a product that they want us to buy. Almost any company at all these days is using the same playbook.
That playbook preys upon our lack of self-esteem, and makes it worse. It convinces us that our lives will never be complete without x, or that the big moment wouldn’t be the same without y. Without much more than repetition and shiny commercials with happy people (some nothing more than AI), we can be convinced that every solution to every one of our problems exists outside of us.
Pharmaceutical commercials and marketing fall right into this. We are convinced that we need a pill, or shot, or infusion to deal with our auto-immune disorders. Which won’t ever touch the root cause of the problem – which likely has a much simpler solution that is better for the planet. But that solution wouldn’t look like more, it would probably look like less.
What Less Actually Looks Like
Less stress from a job that is taking everything out of you and giving you just enough in return that you aren’t rioting in the streets.
Less time away from your friends and family, isolated and doing everything on your own with the expectation of “independence” and not “needing anyone else”.
Less Frankenfood that was refined in a lab and stripped of any of the nutrients that were imparted to it by the plant or animal it was originally based on.
Less worry over how you are going to pay the bills from the less than liveable wages from the same companies that want you to buy all of their stuff.
Less chemicals trying to solve problems that chemicals created in the first place.
And this is coming from someone with a bachelor’s degree in biochemistry. The way the science has been weaponized against us all, instead of wielded to understand how to help us live better, healthier lives is wild. Many of us are at a point of awakening to this.
What We Are Sold as a “Good Life” Is Just Survival.
But, most of what we do has been built around needing all of these modern “conveniences”. Like the plastic racks for the travel mugs and plastic cups on my countertop, we have been told that we don’t need more time to be able to keep up, we just need more ways to stay organized and we’ll be able to keep the pace up just like the Jones’s seem to be doing down the street.
The truth that many have shared so openly on social media is that most of us are not okay. Most of us are just making it through the day. But there is so much more to life than just making it through.
Barely skating by with enough time to get through a drive-through window to eat food that is likely taking minutes off your life every time you eat it and isn’t even cheap anymore is not a life. It’s an existence. It’s survival.
I, for one, am sick of being sick from being in survival mode.
I don’t want another shot or pill to get out of it either.
So, what do we do with all of that? How do we start crafting our lives more intentionally instead of being controlled by shame? We start where we are, with what we have, and we build something real.
One goal that I have had for a while now for myself and my family is to find more joy in life. It’s easy to fall into a pit of despair these days. Especially with how isolated we all became on the other side of the pandemic.
Goals Need More Than Good Intentions
But a goal is only as good as the system that you put in place to attain it. Just repeating it every day like an affirmation, isn’t enough. One needs to take real meaningful steps toward the goal. But in order to do that, you need to know the right steps to take. Just continuing to take steps in directions that “feel right” is great if you are looking for a success rate that looks more like luck alone. It’s okay to do things that way, but I don’t know anyone who is great at anything that is just living on vibes alone and letting the universe/God/creator-of-choice decide when and how it happens.
That’s where a system can help. But the system should be personal to you and as easy to use as possible.
Here’s How to Structure Success
- Starting with the goal, look at where you want to be.
- Work your way back from the goal to where you are today. Do you do none of the things required to attain that goal? Okay, no problem, pick one and make it your focus.
- Decide how you will do that, and when. Get specific.
- Hold yourself accountable. Keep track of your progress. Reflect on it often.
- Celebrate even small wins and then build upon them in next iterations.
Let’s use my goal for an example. If I want to bring more joy into the life of my family, what would that look like? Starting with the end in mind, I know that there’s no one-size-fits-all happiness for all four of us. It’s easy to only focus on the things we all love, like baseball. And while I totally am leaning into that, clearly, it can’t be where I stop. Honoring them each as individuals will ensure that I know them for who they are. It’s important for our well-being to know and be known by those we love. That starts with us as their parents.
So, my baseline add would be a few more catches and opportunities to get down to the batting cages or the pitching tunnels into our month.
But what about the parts of each of us that wants to be enjoyed? Like my youngest son who loves to dance? I love to dance too. (He’s our future Savanah Banana for sure folks.) Could I find a way to dance more with him? Sounds pretty tailor made to us both, good start!
It’s still not a system yet though. I have identified what I want, more joy, and how I might do it, yes. But now, I need to schedule it, the when part. He and I have some newfound time that is just ours when my oldest is at baseball practice afterschool every day and my husband is still at the office. That would be the perfect time to use, right?
But I know myself. If I had the choice, I would dwell in my brain all day, every day. If I didn’t have biological needs and my brain would just keep going forever like a robot, and sitting didn’t hurt my body, I would just read, write, research some more, and repeat forever. I love learning and disseminating information, as is likely obvious at this point from everything you have read thus far, dear reader.
But knowing myself is powerful. It gives me an understanding of how things could go wrong so I can structure my accountability system for success. If I don’t do something to provide structure, that new habit that I want to build into our lives won’t ever happen. I might as well have just wished on a star without accountability. And believe me dear reader, I have tried just saying to someone “remind me and I’m totally in when you’re ready”. That’s cute. But cute doesn’t get the job done.
Without making a plan, putting it on the calendar, setting a reminder somewhere we both can see, that likely is nothing more than a pretty platitude. Might as well make a cute meme out of it and print posters. It serves as much purpose if there isn’t any solid plan of action.
I would love it if you sought more joy too. I’m almost certain that you don’t have enough excuses to just have some fun in your life, especially if you live in the US in 2026. It’s been rough on us all these past few years.
I would say we need to “get back” to having more fun, but I don’t know that we have ever been allowed to prioritize joy. Not adults at least. Even after generations of progress, I can only say that our kids are sometimes encouraged to find joy. But, if you look at the overscheduled nature of their lives post pandemic, I think you’ll agree that they have more rigor and less fun than we did as kids by a long shot. Certainly, they have less time to just be kids and learn and grow together. I wrote more about that here if you want to dive into it further with me.
Your Challenge This Week
Use this framework on one goal you have that seems to have eluded you thus far. Try to sit down for just a few minutes and think through the list and see if there is a piece from it that you have been missing. The key to your success could be as simple as setting a reminder in your phone or other voice-activated device.
So dear reader, do you accept the challenge of getting serious about your goals? Want to join us in seeking more joy? If so, how could you add some extra joy into your week this week? Could you take a walk on a local bike path? Or bike it? With a friend? Could you play a game with one of your children? Or take ye ol’ baseball mitt and ball out for a wee catch with one of your wee ones? Challenge yourself to find more joy and see how the energy of that decision carries into other things you are doing.
If you want support working through a goal and breaking it down in a way that makes it actionable, send us an email to info@strikesportsllc.com.
Until next time, work your system and stop wishing,
