“Make sure you get your glove all the way down next time,” I said as the ball rolled behind him. “I know”, he said, after having very clearly missed the ball that had just rolled underneath his glove.
This player, we’ll call him “Timmy”, was the “I know” kid.
It didn’t matter what we said to him or who said it to him, he already knew what you were going to say. It became a running joke that year between the coaching staff that Timmy “knew” what we were going to say before we said it. He must have been a mind reader.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I think what he meant to communicate was “I hear you and understand what you mean”. The problem with “I know” is that it communicates a much different message. It sends the signal to your coach, or whoever you are working with, that you are uncoachable and not open to feedback.
Elite players remain coachable longer than mediocre players. That is because they are chasing greatness. But in order to get better every day, you have to be able to have things pointed out to you that might already have seen but be open to hearing them from someone else. There are tidbits of wisdom in how and when someone reminds you of something, even something super fundamental, that can hide keys to your development.
A great example of this is a player who whiffs at a pitch because they pulled their head out while swinging. Many coaches would tell that player “Keep your head in”, or “Keep your chin tucked”. I found it more effective to remind players to “Watch the ball the whole way to the bat” to help them stay in the present moment. I found that younger players seemed to respond better to this because it was easier to understand how to do without additional coaching. More on this later, because it applies to almost everything in baseball and life.
What “I Know” is Actually Protecting
The “I know” player often isn’t hearing the nuanced difference between those things. That’s because “I know” is an ego response. It’s the “I’m good at this and belong here and don’t want to feel like I’m not good enough” response that is protecting the heart of the player when they have made a mistake. But practices are the place where you should get coached on those mistakes. So, you can keep getting better every day. You are good enough to be there if you are growing, no matter where you’re starting from. But if a player brushes off good advice with “I know”, it will limit the heights that they might otherwise achieve.
What “I know” does to the brain is signal that you do, in fact, know that information or skill already. Which makes it impossible to learn. Because as the stoics say, “It’s impossible to learn that which you believe you already know”.
The Two Words that Change Everything
If you find yourself saying “I know” when getting feedback, or have a player that is repeating the refrain, consider swapping it out for “thanks for the reminder”. Especially for advice you have already heard. The feedback probably came because the execution wasn’t quite there. But helping whoever is giving you the feedback to know their message was received is a powerful move. It also signals to your brain that you need to keep that advice in mind next time. That shift alone will help you reach greater heights in anything you are doing.
Have you ever coached the “I know” kid? Did you manage to break through to them? Let us know how in the comments.
Until next time, stay coachable!
